on jobs

I am currently sitting on the coach eating coconut frosting. Its from a can and not terribly good. At least I am eating it off cake, and not from the can.
I have this issue with emotional eating - see Friday's post - and apparently think the best way to solve my sad feelings about our lack of a baby, lack of disposable income, my student loans, our unsold house and the lack of a new job for me is to eat frosting. And a little bit of kind of dry cake. I am a terrible cake baker, which is sad because I'm generally good with the oven.

I vacillate a) being happy to be gainfully employed in a fairly low stress job where I have awesome coworkers and a pretty high level of flexibility and all the autonomy I can ask for (are you asking what I am complaining about??), though a pretty long (train, again what am I complaining about) commute and low salary (OK, that I can complain about) and b) being really fricking annoyed that I, with a masters and ABD from an extremely respectable program in my field, from an extremely respectable (and unfortunately extremely expensive) university, and a few years of work experience in a reasonably respectable position at said university have had 1.5 (one real and one terrible phone) interviews in the last 6.5 months. I have applied to 9 jobs at Rutgers and at least half a dozen elsewhere. And I'm really qualified for at least a third (I admit I am aiming high, see student loan debt issue above)!

I know I sound like a) a raving lunatic and b) an institutional egotist (really I'm not. I was a public school kid until my masters and all through my 22 grad classes was the public school voice of reason when people said things during case studies like "well, if I had that problem in undergrad, I'd go see the dean." What? What? What undergrad at a big state school knows who the Dean of the damn school is much less can REACH them?!) and c) a whiner.
Ok, I am whining.

I know I am employed and stable and all that crap, and am happy to not be on unemployment and all, but for a million little reasons I don't want to type out right now - see point A directly above - I really, really would appreciate a snazzy new job showing up on higheredjobs.com, made just for me. One that calls me when I send them my resume. (FYI to the almost-diploma-mill that sent me the employment rejection notice: You are the ONLY job that has explicitly rejected to interview me! I am insulted! I am guessing you can't afford the fairly piddily salary I want, but I want you to know I am insulted you had the nerve to reject me ON PAPER without even talking to me. I didn't want to work for you and your below average on the SAT students either. Blah. You could save money to hire someone decent by not sending out employment rejection notices by the way).

Whew.
I feel a little better now.
I guess I can put away the cake and get to the dog park.

school

Sometimes I hate that I am a part time student.
I like my classes SO much more than my job.
I enjoy, in a masochistic way, writing multiple 20 page papers every semester.
I am infinitely jealous of my classmates who go to conferences in fun places like Vancouver on our advisor's (school funded) dime to do cool things like present and things I hate but should do like mingle and smooze network with folks in the field.

But on some level I know I am not meant to be an academic and the professional doctorate is the right choice. And I know that if I were a full time student we couldn't have our house, couldn't do the little bit of traveling we do, and I'd be even further behind on my retirement...

But. Le Sigh. Today, I would much rather be a full time student.

more proof...

...that being an "Ivy" student does not guarantee much.

This email was sent to me under an hour after I left the classroom where I gave a 15 minute presentation to clarify instructions the students received via email two weeks ago. No edits outside brackets:

I was wondering, you showed my [course XXX] class a lot of things to do on a website. Can you email me the link? I think if I see the site again I will remeber what to do. If I don't, I will be sure to email you. I eally just want to make sure I do everything I need to do.

Student

signs mom enrolled you in college

Verbatim, aside from brackets:

Hello....
I have been trying to register on line for [Class] on world campus, but have been unsuccessful. I need some kind of authorization for this class, I'm register as a non-degree, and will eventually sign up for [Masters Program]. My id # [#####] or [State Flagship U Abbreviation] id [#####]. I hope you can really help me out, the class already started last wk as you know. Thank you for your time and your assistance w/ this matter.
[Student Name]
[Phone]

Our reply:


[Student],
This is the University of [State], not [State] University. I am not sure what World Campus is. If you really mean the [Our University] and you wish to take [Course with similar number] at our campus in [City], please email [us] and give us your [Our University] ID and we will issue you this permit once you confirm you have the pre-req of College Chemistry.


How do you email the WRONG SCHOOL!? (Where you've never been enrolled!) Also, class apparently started last week at Your School, but we don't start till next week...did you not notice while on our website looking for our email?

things I have issues with

Being on email at 12:30 am and 7 am and again at 8:47 pm tonight when I still make a couple thousand less than I did at 23.

Remind me why I quit engineering?

suspense

Well, for me.

Next Friday morning is my follow up with the podiatrist about the sprain-that-wasn't (CT scan revealed a fracture in the old break and a lot of "ununion"...thanks low blood flow area)

So...can I play rugby this fall? Am I flying to Orlando for 1 day just to hang out and experience Air Tran? Should I be saving to go to FL and CA for playoffs? Should I be figuring out how I'm going to draft three dissertation chapters, take a second class, go to work, coach, and go to rugby AND feed the dog and shower without losing my mind? Can I run the Philly Distance Run? 9/16...unlikely, seeing as that's 4 weeks from next weekend and 2-3 days of elliptical isn't exactly the 20ish miles/week I'd like to have under my belt for a half, besides that is it a good idea to run a half 12 weeks after a fracture? Can I run the Philly Half Marathon in November? That would be 12 weeks from next weekend, perfect time to ramp up from 12ish miles/week to 20ish (Hal Higdon Novice!)...I could do it.

But, alas, planning for all of these things, figuring out how much travel (rugby) the fall can hold amid school etc., and allowing myself to obsess over athletic training of some sort is all on hold. Dr. W, your verdict next week about what I am permitted to do and when I am permitted to do so (I HAVE to listen since even if this fall is a wash, I'd like to not be out of commission for the rest of eternity) holds more weight than you know.

taking a breather

Today, I had an 8 am appointment, spent 45 minutes running errands, 3 hrs gardening, then about 7 hrs with my parents who came to visit. We didn't do a dang thing on the house. Poor folks, every time they come over, we work for 6+ hours (electric, shed demo, etc.), so Princess Charming and I decided today we'd suprise them - take my dad's loaner tools hostage in the garage (we do need them for tomorrow) and spend the afternoon having lunch, shoe shopping and discussing fitness. I know that sounds bizarre, but since his triple bypass my dad's entered a major health "kick," so he really NEEDED good shoes for all the walking he's doing and a good lesson on proper lifting...and exercises besides shoulder raises and bicep curls.

Its nearly 9 and since we cleaned like nuts this AM, there's nothing pressing to do except for tomorrow's projects, which can wait till tomorrow. I've decided to remote into work only on worknights, as I am becoming on of "those" people, so today I will not. But mostly, its weird AND relieving not to having schoolwork hanging over my head. Since I'm not taking class Summer II, this is my longest "break" since fall 07, when I didn't take anything. There's 5 more blissful, school-free weeks. Although I am still too busy to mop more than once a month or so, it is nice to not realize I forgot to do something and nearly hyperventialate...the camel's back breaks pretty easily at certain times during the semester.

Sadly, now that I have the time to really get back to exercising, I can't. My foot is STILL puffy, and while it only hurts after exercise, a series of semi-related doctors appointments has determined its still broken. Treatment TBD. So no running, and as my parents didn't leave till 8, I didn't make it to the gym tonight. Maybe tomorrow. I should take the pup for a walk, but I've been trying to keep even those to 1/2 mile, as (since I've been paying more attention now instead of ignoring the nagging pain) more than that does up the pain level somewhat...and I'd like my foot to work properly again sooner rather than later. Sigh.

proof of fear

for the future of the world.

email from student today, in "reply" to a message I sent:

Mom
Here is all the background info...
if you could print out the necessary pages, that'd be good!
"Clearly Not Independent Student/Daughter"


This student is 20. I managed to remove blunt references to "your mom can't do all of it for you" from my reply and kept it a little more "you" focused. Which was probably passive aggressive, but whatever...

the big problems in my life

really aren't all that big. I know I'm lucky that this is my major dilemma in life.

I have a big scheduling problem.

Part A: I am taking two classes this fall. I've done this for a couple of semesters now in my quest to be the fastest (or among them) part time doctoral student in GSE history, and its stressful for the latter half of the semester. Fall = rugby is in the first half, so not that bad...except I'm taking ProSem, which essentially requires a draft of the first three chapters of my dissertation to be written (well, of A dissertation, but in light of my timeline desires, I'd like it to be a USEFUL major project).

Part B: One class is late afternoons Tuesday, ending at 6:30. This means I can't go home to get my car (an hour trip each way) between work and practice. Manageable (somehow) though.

Part C: I really like working with the college team. They practice Monday and Thursday. This is a problem, as Princess Charming, the head coach, doesn't work nearby anymore and is hard pressed to make their practices. And my team practices Tues & Thurs.

Part D: Our game schedules overlap 5 times (of a 8 game or so season). Not tragic, Princess Charming can go to the DU games while I go play...

Part E: My club team has games in Orlando, Boston, undertermined playoff location, and if we go all the way, San Francisco...that's a lot of plane tickets/long drives. $$$ + time (see part A).

Part F: Can I really commit to train to play at a level where a) I would get some playing time for the games in Part E and b) can I even compete? Am I athletic enough to consider this? Do I even want to? Sigh. Part of me says a big YES especially as this is likely to be my last competitive D1 season, since I'd like to be pregnant or in the process of getting so for Fall 2010...
Does that desire outweight my desire to work with the college team? After the heartwarming experience with the select side last weekend (more later perhaps), I'm not sure. I also feel guilty, as club president, for not being sure if I want to commit to more than Developmental (read: B-Side) games at home...

THIS is what you learned in school for $50k/yr??

Hi XXXX,

This may be me overachieving, but I was really hoping to make summa cum laude status (which I believe is a 3.80), my GPA is a 3.78 - I'm dismayed - is there anyone I can speak to for a possible GPA bump??


Thanks!
Clearly Insane Graduating Senior


EDIT:

There is more. Our emails (mine saying, "No, be proud of your Magna Cum Laude") must have crossed paths, because this was stacked on her first, not on my reply.

Before I embarass myself, would I stand a chance in asking my [class XXX] professors to bump me from an A- to an A? Which would bring my GPA to a 3.796 - will [Institution] round this to a 3.80?


Thanks,
Clearly Totally Insane Graduating Senior