high fashion

Today, my sister in law is wearing tan pleated stirrup pants. With black booties with red plaid sides. She is complaining her toe hurts and her boyfriend is telling her she shouldn't wear shoes that are too small (the addendum in my head is you shouldn't buy shoes at second hand stores either...).

She lives in Brooklyn and must think this gives her a pass to be "fashion forward". Or, um, backwards by 0 years.  Regardless, Brooklyn Hipster does not equal fashionable in my mind. AND we're currently in Colorado. AND they are STIRRUP PANTS!!

She looks ridiculous. I wish I could get a photo.

fug

This past weekend, Princess Charming and I hosted a brunch for our college kids. Their social chair instructed them to not wear sweats and to "look cute". Apparently that means a variety of things from jeans and a tee to a skirt and high heels.

Oddly enough, both ends of this spectrum arrived in Uggs. Uggs with jeans, Uggs with skinny jeans, Uggs with a skirt, Uggs with what appeared to be an eyelet sundress (sidebar: it was 40 degrees out).


I just don't understand how these are ever cute. On anyone. Regardless of fabric.

explain please

(Yes, I snapped this furtively while in line for my fancy overpriced but amazing salad).

The back buckle says Gucci. I don't care if its Gucci (or if its real). You're wearing a fanny pack. And, you're wearing the fanny pack with what I assume are your gym clothes, unless full body spandex has also made an unfortunate comeback, so you're not even wearing it fashionably. Can you wear a fanny pack fashionably?

fitness D-

While D- exists at only a few institutions, I'm going with it. Did 7 of 15 planned miles this week, 1 of 2 lifting workouts, and 0 HIIT workouts (but I did go to 7s practice, that's close, right?). Better than last week overall, and since I felt like caca today thanks to the pollen, I'm going to take it.

This week:

Week 1 of my 16 week "Smart Coach" (runnersworld.com) half marathon program. A little tougher than Hal Higdon's novice program but more realistic for me than the 5 day/week intermediate program. 2 2 miles, 1 5 miler, and 1 7 miler this week.

2 days lifting (T/Th)

2 HIIT (really.)

Week one of the 100 pushups program. I think I'm going to try for level 2 but might move down to level 1. Plan is to do this M/W/F am after the puppy's short walk.

I have some new motivation, after a massive shopping failure this weekend. I did get a pair of (larger sized) capris and heels at Kohls...I don't usually like department stores for clothes, but since I was looking for pants I hope to only fit into this summer, I decided to bit the bullet. I've been in the market for red patent heels for a while to replace my (sob) broken slingbacks, and just stumbled upon them. Synthetic and plastic soles, and black heels not covered, but for $22.50, I'll take them. I also found a pair of yellow patent peeptoe kittenheels for $6. Out of character for me but Very summer.

Part B of my motivation: swapping out my winter/summer clothes in the closet. I re-discovered my collection of cute dresses, but sadly, by black silk polka dot and gray linen dresses are too small now...damned sleeves (thank goodness most of my summer stuff is sleeveless and just calls for cardigans and scarves for work...).

i can't help

the snark.

I don't normally read celeb gossip, but the headline just caught me...

No, Kate, I really do not want your mullet, which by the way, was popular when I was in HS in the late 90s. You are not fashionable. Sorry.

sidebar on the mullet: typically these are "business in the front, party in the back"but Kate's is sort of backwards, length wise. However, I can't quite call the front a party; it's more like normal hair and would be business OK. The back is a party I guess, if that's how moms party. Really though, the back kind of strikes me as trendy-hipster-dyke (actually, if she added some dye and ugly glasses, the whole thing could be very Brooklyn-hipster) which is probably not what she's going for.

sidebar 2: lay off the tanning bed and tooth whitening K.G.

because I am a complainer

I am not a fashion guru, but I try to look stylish and reasonably put together. However, a large percentage of trends annoy me, especially among the college crowd (ala people I see walking to and from work).

In pictorial, because a picture tells a thousand words (or at least is clearer than I can describe), things that bug me:
specifically,


I'd like to add that leggings are not pants. The only acceptable places to wear leggings are 1) your own house 2) under pants 3) running. Failure to abide by this simple rule will mean too many people in your life will know your underwear preferences.

The jeans into boots is over for me...I could never pull it off to begin with, but I THOUGHT it was cute. Until the college kids did too. I saw at least a half dozen girls sporting this look in about 5 minutes this am. Clones, perhaps?

What Not to Wear

I don't have cable right now, and I miss this show a lot.

However, regular trips to the LAFitness on City Ave keep me in full supply of the best part of the show, the clips of horrible and/or horribly fitting clothes. Now, I understand...its a gym...you're (theoretically) working out, sweaty, and not in your finest. I am not a matching-outfits-at-the-gym type, and don't expect anyone else to be. That being said, let's discuss some of this past week's finest:

• The shorts over leggings look. I generally disapprove of leggings, except for running outside and yoga, but I know they're in style so I try to give this a bye. And I know people with hip anxiety sometimes do this for coverage. However, there's nothing stylish or concealing about wearing gray soffee shorts that fit you more like Brazilian cut panties than shorts over black leggings. Sadly, the girl who wears this to the gym also likes...
• Showing off the belly button. As is likely to be agreed by anyone who has ever worked an event at the Tweeter Center, any shirt through which a casual observer can clearly see your belly button (especially if there's no piercing to draw attention to it) is way too tight. Which brings me to...
• Spandex. Just because it can stretch enough to fit you does not mean you should wear it. This is even more important for non-spandex materials.
• The short short. On males. New Years Resolution time draws a lot of people to the gym who haven't worked out since college. If you attended college in 1983, it is best to invest in new shorts, even if the old ones still fit. This will prevent people from thinking - even for a split second - that you borrowed your 16 year old daughter's cheerleading shorts.

got these in my email

And I love them.

Where was this mousetrap when I needed it? And I thought mice didn't actually like cheese because of the sugar content...was that some mice-preserving LIE when we were told to use peanut butter?? hmm....

And this is simply a PSA (ignore the unpleasant wording). Really, you don't look cool and it takes a lot of my self-control to not fix it for you.

The Mullet

In Philadelphia on a dreary "spring" day in 2007, I saw what I believe to be one of the most impressive mullets in the world.

Since I (sadly) don't carry a digital camera all the time, I must describe it (Google Images won't yield anything even close):

20ish male with dirty blond curly-ish hair about 2 inches long

from the front: a bad lack of haircut/semi-mop, as is popular with the college-aged artsy and/or trendy set

from the back: waist length dreadlocks...but only from the region that at one point in time would have been used to create a tail...

more 80s return

So I'm innocently watching tv, and a commercial comes on...

"I've searched all over New York, and couldn't find a Bedazzler"

WHAT? What? I haven't even heard that term since I was in the 3rd grade.

Appeaently the Bedazzler is back. "Sparking rhinestones and gleaming studs" (How great is the product when you're advertizing the thing holding the "stone" to your clothing?) The ad goes on to say you can Bedazzle cardigans and jeans for under $30 each, saving tons of money from the designer versions.

I wonder who will buy this. They didn't even say New and Improved.

Additionally...

Ugg boots were NEVER attractive, especially not with short skirts (how is chopping off one's calf and one's thigh around the widest part of each flattering to anyone?). Hence, the new furry version of the Ugg is ALSO not attractive. Not with short skirts. And not with spandex pants.

Seriously people. Spandex pants (except on a track or in the gym, possibly) were a bad idea in 1986. They're STILL a bad idea twenty years later. Only like 0.5% of the population can pull them off. The very skinny look extra emiciated in them (if you can see your knee tendons through your spandex, you're too thin. Are you reading this, girl-who-I-keep-thinking-is-going-to-keel-over-on-the-treadmill?). The rest of us just look like sausages, for one reason or another. If you happen to be in the 0.5% that has amazingly well proportioned legs of good tone et al, well, spandex away, but please have the curtosy to do it with a tunic (::stiffling a gag::). I don't want to be able to read the tag on your panties.

spotted

I saw a few things on my way to campus this morning that demand comment. (And as I am obviously a fashion queen, I feel entitled to do so). Sometimes these moments make me I had a camera, but I find it a little creepy to take photos of strangers. There's been several of these semi-creepy people on the river trail lately, making me wonder if there's a huge art class somewhere requiring action shots of joggers. But I digress.

Seen today:
1) girl wearing cropped tights (sigh), pointy flats, a jean mini, and a teeshirt declaring "Dare to be Different". Ironic, no?
2) girl who was very obviously coming from the gym, smoking a cigarette. As she was already immensely thin, I have a feeling it was lunch.
3) (this was actually a week or so ago, but its noteworthy) homeless lady in my neighborhood yelling LOUDLY at random people, including some in cars, as she passed them. She called me a "DIRTY COLLEGE WHORE". Guess the rugby teeshirt and running pants tipped her off.

Whistler

I want to go snowboarding in Canada. I think it'd be sweet. And less crowded than even the fairly empty (compare to NJ) mountains of Colorado. But that's not the point of my post, just came to mind when I put up the title.

Why do men whistle at women?

This is the question of the day.

I am dressed for work today in summer work clothes, specifically black capris, wedges and a nice colorful shell. I do think its a flattering outfit. Appearently I'm not alone.
The shopping center where I picked up lunch today is doing some construction. There were workers gathered around the dumpster, several of whom whistled at me (well, either me or the rather chunky middle aged guy about 10 feet in front of me, equal opportunity perhaps?) What is their goal in whistling at women? Do they expect the women to stop and give them her number? Flash them? Grab one and plant a big wet one? I chose none of these and opted to ignore them and walk on by.

I've been whistled at before. A couple of times on the street doing [whatever], more frequenrly when running. There's also the occassional honker. I can only assume these are the obnoxious teenage boys that feel the need to call attention to the fact they are old enough to drive. (I am trying to give men some credit here). Honkers tend to startle me and I don't like them much.

I guess in general I should take the whistling as a compliment. But I still don't understand.