Monday, February 9, 2009

going online

I added a weight loss ticker to my sidebar. This is a huge step in my life. I feel like I'm coming out of the closet. This sounds a little silly, even to me, seeing as I'm active a Weight Watchers message board and with a WW email group. But somehow the blog is more public (even though I doubt anyone I know in real life actually reads this)...

But I need to, for a few reasons:
  1. I think about my weight a lot. I'm not THAT heavy, but I am more than a little concerns about the 13 lbs I gained in 2008...mostly because 90% of my maternal relatives are morbidly obese, and literally dying off because of it. And that scares me. A lot (as does the rampant cancer on that side). And my dad's family, which generally of healthy weight, is stacked with heart disease and strokes, so my odds aren't fabulous.
  2. I want to talk about it. All the time. But I'm embarrassed - in part because I have such a hang-up, and in part because I don't feel like I'm "entitled" to it at my still-not-in-"women's"-stores size.
  3. I've yo-yoed since I was 11 or 12 (up 20, down 10, up 30, down 45, up 70, down 25, up 15, down 10, up 13...). This needs to stop, for my health and that of my future children. I know a lot of my hang-ups and "issues" are remnants of my childhood, watching my mom stress about her weight and little comments about my chubby 11 yr old thighs...
  4. I'm pretty sure I'm making Princess Charming crazy. C is the only person I talk about this to openly or often (if at all) and I talk about it a lot. Especially lately, since I've outgrown about half of my pants. And it is annoying. And self defeatist. And depressing. And while she's been a great sport, I know it is very aggravating. Bringing (at least some) of my blabber about this online should be good for my home life :)

So...after months/years of being a WW online member and following on and off, I am "publicly" committing to following. And getting back into my pants.

My mini-goal is to be at my pre-2008 weight by the MORE half marathon, April 25. 13 lbs in 11 weeks. Aggressive, but I'm going to try...
My goal is to by at goal by my 28th birthday in July. 22 lbs.


  1. Dearest Emilimileee,

    I think this is awesome. I am both proud of you and a little envious. (Envious because I keep talking about how I SHOULD start going back to the gym, and SHOULD start running again, and SHOULD be doing a lot of things, but I'm not.)

    I understand the reluctance to talk about it, and the bit of depression and shame that can accompany the weight issue. It sucks.

    But you're doing something about it. That's what really counts.

    Feel free to bitch and complain! If I can help you in any way, let me know.

    I'm proud of you. :)

  2. Just wanted to wish you Good Luck!! I recently made a similar commitment, so I understand how tough it is to tell the whole world!