My last couple of posts have been kind of pathetic, and centered on the exact same thing. And I'd like to note, 2 months apart.
If you flip back, which I don't feel like doing at the moment, you'll see the same old crap in 2009.
Its an endless cycle.
One of my biggest issues is "I already had 4 mini twix, might as well stop counting calories today". That's where I am today. It's 2:24 pm and I've had 1500 calories. Since I track my calories, I can say this is actually pretty normal for me. And I am embarrassed to admit about 20% on a good day of my diet is junk.
A friend forwarded me a new article by Jennifer Weiner yesterday which is so poignant. Maybe I need to either a) accept my size and like of food, including my poor use of it or b) change.
To be honest, I'm not sure what the right thing to do is. I don't want to be a bad role model - but is being a kind of chubby but otherwise healthy mom ok? I know talking about my weight to around the girls over and over isn't ok. I don't want them to have issues. Or be fat. Or think about their weight. Over and over and over.
In the old days, sometime in college when I got fat then thin-ish (actually I was kind of fit/hot, if not thin), I did Thursday weigh-ins. So here goes. Tomorrow. We'll call it. As much as I'd like to be all aggressive and lose-2-lbs-a-week-superwoman-never-get-fat-again, I don't think that's realistic, so I'm going to go for a net of 1500 cal/day, which should yield about a lb a week loss.
Tomorrow is go.