173.4 today.
I think I'm going to start some weekly reporting.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
D-day
well, whatever.
My last couple of posts have been kind of pathetic, and centered on the exact same thing. And I'd like to note, 2 months apart.
If you flip back, which I don't feel like doing at the moment, you'll see the same old crap in 2009.
Its an endless cycle.
One of my biggest issues is "I already had 4 mini twix, might as well stop counting calories today". That's where I am today. It's 2:24 pm and I've had 1500 calories. Since I track my calories, I can say this is actually pretty normal for me. And I am embarrassed to admit about 20% on a good day of my diet is junk.
A friend forwarded me a new article by Jennifer Weiner yesterday which is so poignant. Maybe I need to either a) accept my size and like of food, including my poor use of it or b) change.
To be honest, I'm not sure what the right thing to do is. I don't want to be a bad role model - but is being a kind of chubby but otherwise healthy mom ok? I know talking about my weight to around the girls over and over isn't ok. I don't want them to have issues. Or be fat. Or think about their weight. Over and over and over.
In the old days, sometime in college when I got fat then thin-ish (actually I was kind of fit/hot, if not thin), I did Thursday weigh-ins. So here goes. Tomorrow. We'll call it. As much as I'd like to be all aggressive and lose-2-lbs-a-week-superwoman-never-get-fat-again, I don't think that's realistic, so I'm going to go for a net of 1500 cal/day, which should yield about a lb a week loss.
Tomorrow is go.
(right?)
My last couple of posts have been kind of pathetic, and centered on the exact same thing. And I'd like to note, 2 months apart.
If you flip back, which I don't feel like doing at the moment, you'll see the same old crap in 2009.
Its an endless cycle.
One of my biggest issues is "I already had 4 mini twix, might as well stop counting calories today". That's where I am today. It's 2:24 pm and I've had 1500 calories. Since I track my calories, I can say this is actually pretty normal for me. And I am embarrassed to admit about 20% on a good day of my diet is junk.
A friend forwarded me a new article by Jennifer Weiner yesterday which is so poignant. Maybe I need to either a) accept my size and like of food, including my poor use of it or b) change.
To be honest, I'm not sure what the right thing to do is. I don't want to be a bad role model - but is being a kind of chubby but otherwise healthy mom ok? I know talking about my weight to around the girls over and over isn't ok. I don't want them to have issues. Or be fat. Or think about their weight. Over and over and over.
In the old days, sometime in college when I got fat then thin-ish (actually I was kind of fit/hot, if not thin), I did Thursday weigh-ins. So here goes. Tomorrow. We'll call it. As much as I'd like to be all aggressive and lose-2-lbs-a-week-superwoman-never-get-fat-again, I don't think that's realistic, so I'm going to go for a net of 1500 cal/day, which should yield about a lb a week loss.
Tomorrow is go.
(right?)
Monday, October 1, 2012
so...
We're still doing the NY Marathon, though in all honesty just running to finish. no time goal. We're both mildly injured (well, C is more than mildly injured and is in PT) and I'm overweight. Finishing at all with 2 one year olds is good right?
It kind of pains me to "waste" an entry to NYC on racing to finish, but I'm kind of over it. It's a fun, huge, crowded race, and we're running it together. It'll be a lot more fun than running with time pressure. I can save that for a less cool race someday (though I doubt I'll do another marathon anytime soon).
In the meanwhile, I'm setting my sights on a 5k PR for this Thanksgiving (starting training this week) and losing some weight. I was 175.6 this morning, the most I've been in a while. Granted, I am probably bloated etc yuck etc, but ugh. I need to stop fucking around. Its been nearly 4 years at this weight and I just keep bitching like that'll change something.
So small goals, 10 lbs by Thanksgiving (8 weeks).
It kind of pains me to "waste" an entry to NYC on racing to finish, but I'm kind of over it. It's a fun, huge, crowded race, and we're running it together. It'll be a lot more fun than running with time pressure. I can save that for a less cool race someday (though I doubt I'll do another marathon anytime soon).
In the meanwhile, I'm setting my sights on a 5k PR for this Thanksgiving (starting training this week) and losing some weight. I was 175.6 this morning, the most I've been in a while. Granted, I am probably bloated etc yuck etc, but ugh. I need to stop fucking around. Its been nearly 4 years at this weight and I just keep bitching like that'll change something.
So small goals, 10 lbs by Thanksgiving (8 weeks).
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