Props to NJ

and how often can we say that??

Since I went to grad school, I've been pretty out of touch with the news, so I about fell out of my chair when I got a text about this this afternoon.

The State Supreme Court in New Jersey said today that same-sex couples are entitled to “the same rights and benefits enjoyed by opposite-sex couples under the civil marriage statutes.”...The court’s eagerly awaited decision found that an arrangement akin to that in Vermont, which authorizes civil unions between same-sex couples but does not call them marriages, would satisfy the New Jersey constitution’s guarantee of equal protection under the law.

and I'm ok with this :) Its certainly a step in the right direction!

and this week

My neighbors seem to be having a party right now, rather than a screaming match. Its definately the one above me. Its 11 pm on a Tuesday night. I have a 50% completed (just 4 page) paper due tomorrow. And have to be at work by 9. I haven't finished the reading for any of tomorrow's 3 classes. Oops. I really shouldn't have gone to rugby tonight, or played on the internet for 2 hours today, or spent 2 hours at the gym (between cardio and lifting for the first time in ages and the walk to and fro) yesterday. This staying up late thing is become a theme for me, a theme I need to end ASAP. Oh well. Tomorrow, we shall end it. Tomorrow we shall begin being ahead of schedule. I'm even going to bring stuff with me to Nationals to read this weekend. Somehow I feel like I'll have a little time, as the people who are playing will be wrapped up in their rugby thoughts. Actually, I am not sure about this since I haven't traveled with this team. If I were playing (this is the realist in me writing here) this weekend, I'd be on a serious tightrope in my mind, and would likely be blasting angry music via headphones to myself. I used to do this back when I was in shape and (somewhat) confident and all that, but there was more on that last week and I'm sure will be more on that in the future. But right now, I need to finish that paper....


update: we're currently listening to "Can't Touch This". Normally, I wouldn't care but its really distracting right now. And annoying. sigh.

crazy?

Is it normal to do things you're not good at? I don't mean things like cooking when one's skills limit them to mac and cheese and hamburgers. And I don't mean the essential things in life either, like a part of your job you struggle with.

Rugby has always been such an uphill battle for me. I wasn't an athletic kid. Hell, I was the "easy out" kid. The one that was continually picked last in grade school gym class; the one noone wanted on their team because she was slow AND couldn't catch (or see for that matter, since glasses weren't allowed in gym without goggles, and THAT wasn't going to happen). I picked it up in college for a variety of reasons, the most obvious being that rugby accepts everyone, which is important if you're looking to play a sport and have literally zero athletic experience. Hell, compared to the fall of 2000, I'm an Olympian these days.

But lets be honest...not so much. I have a good grasp of the rules, the strategy, the game in general. I'm not THAT out of shape. I'm reasonably strong for my size (though admittedly weaker and slower than when I graduated college, though I plan on finishing fixing that this winter). I'm dedicated, passionate, and a pussy. I've been giving this a lot of thought lately, as it's occurred to me its been about 6 years....and I'm wondering if I'm doing the right thing by still playing. Is it time to move onto somewhere where I have a real shot of improving, like running (not that I'll ever qualify for Boston, but I'm pretty confident that I could make some improvement on my current times, and I do want to do a marathon), or triathlons (though I'd need to improve my swimming...and buy a bike)? Or do I keep sticking it out, and find some way over this big huge mental block that keeps me from running and hitting with the vigor that I know my body could handle, the vigor that happens on the (rare) occasion I stop thinking and just go. How do I capture that vigor, make my body just go instead of holding back and letting people push me around (and I mean that in the physical manner)?

And back to my original statement, is this normal in general? Do other people put themselves in these situations, make themselves look like jackasses on a regular basis, work hard for minor victories that are a huge deal to them and inconsequential to anyone else in their immediate vicinity (ie. when I somehow tackled the wing (right off a breakdown) on Sunday, even if it was a smidge high)? Am I crazy for not pursuing a hobby I'm better at, like scrapbooking or crocheting or baking?

where I've been

This is a fun little tool.

Here's all the states I've ever physically been in, including airline connections and driving through.



create your own visited states map

And the list dwindled a bit by omitted drive-throughs/non-final destinations...




And further refined by omitted places I've only been to for rugby (I'm hesitantly leaving Washington on here. Technically I've been there, but I was around 2 and have no recollection of it. I was 7 or 8 when I went to Vermont and Wisconsin, so at least I remember the pretty fall leaves and the snow, respectively!)




And just for kicks, the states I've lived in:




Heck, let's go all out...Countries too!



create your own visited countries map


Note to self: I need to travel more
:)

sigh

My neighbor is having a screaming match. I think she's on the phone, because no one seems to be yelling back. She also has a pronounced Indian/Pakistani/something accent, so all I can really make out is "fuck you" and "no you listen to me." This isn't the first time. Last time someone else was there, because I heard the door slam twice. I'm actually not positive if its the neighbor directly above me or next door (or maybe across the hall), because the arguement is strangely more audible from my hallway and closet/office/pigsty. Regardless, while she's not keeping me up (its 12:30, and alas, I haven't finished my paper because I chose to have two phone conversations in the vicinity of an hour, which while fun, were not academically productive), I do feel bad. Not bad exactly. Sad. For her. I've been there, in that awful screaming neverending fight about nothing or everything where all at once you want to make it all "poof" disappear and you want to make things "like they used to be" and you want your insides that are lying somewhere in the gutter of your intestines rather than your chest cavity to return to normal. And I don't, ever, ever want to be in that place again.

Things like this, that remind me of things that were, remind me that I'm a little afraid of life. I'm a little afraid I won't get happily ever after and instead I'll get a mid-life divorce, and having been through a (obviously, see above) messy early life break up (of a fairly long term for early life relationship), I have NO IDEA how people deal with getting divorced from someone they've been with for 10, 15, 25 years. No idea. Maybe that's why there's such a market for therapists.

Soccer

For some reason, the embedding isn't working....but this is terrific : )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxY7AsgOxBY

amen

While I was walking to yoga (gasp) last Friday, I passed by a church in my neighborhood advertising for their Sunday sermon. I stood in front of it for a minute wishing I could take a picture, and then it occurred to me I have a camera phone. (I think I'm just a little old for that to be a logical thought, since my first cell phone was in the days before free nights and weekends, when it was actually for emergencies (and in my case, LD) and not a primary line) Sadly, its not the clearest photo...

But you can read the main part -- "Suffer, Suffer, Suffer". Now tell me, who is going to walk by the church and think "oh, the reverend/priest/dude will be talking about how we are burning in sin in life and will continue to do so in the afterlife! What a terrific way to spend Sunday morning!" Maybe as a confirmed Catholic, who like many confirmed Catholics who never went to church outside a few random Holy Days and the brief period where we had to sign in during the Confirmation Class series (that's trust right there), I just don't understand the draw of the church....or maybe this is as ridiculous a concept as I think!

terrific reason for grad school

right there. mm. ha.