rejection and the attic

Remember how I couldn't find a job? Or an interview?
Well, 50 or so applications (Jan-Nov. 2010) and 6 interviews later (July, Aug x 2, November x 2, Jan) things have turned around.

I am still a little insulted I received exactly three rejection notices this whole time though, only one being from a job I actually interviewed for (twice, for a total of 5 hours!). How hard is it to tell someone, "sorry, we don't like you"?

Anyway, I did finally get a job, in my field of preference (Institutional Research). It is in NYC, so I'm having to deal with the escalators...still not the money I was hoping, but the field is right and it is a step in the right direction (annoying commute aside).

Of course, this means we have to finally move on from PA and get a new place in NJ. Given that we don't make oodles of money nor have oodles in the bank, we're staying with my parents until our house sells and we can get a new one (being a contingent buyer just isn't an option for us). Hence, the attic.

phobia

I have an issue with down escalators.  I typically need to hold both railings to get on. Sometime I can suck it up and just GO, like if I have a rolling bag in one hand and a stream of teammates following me in an airport. I do better when I don't have time to think about it. Sometimes, particularly in the mall, I freeze. Two bags. No truly free hands. I don't like when my bag brushes the side...feels like it limits my grip on the railing. I've been known (usually when alone) to abandon the escalator all together and find the elevator or stairs. The days when it is bad, I start sweating a little, and I half step on and off the damn thing over and over (this is not an issue at all on up escalators).

Its embarrassing though. Once in an airport there were no stairs to be seen and a huge line for the elevator. A 12 yr old took my bag down for me. Mortifying.

Earlier this week I had an interview in NYC. I took the train from my parents' house, which requires a transfer.  I don't know this station terribly well, and there's only 1 set of stairs for every 3 or 4 escalators (I determined this on my way home when I had 30 minutes to kill during my ill-timed connection), and they're not generally in the game spot. So here I am, on the edge of NJ heading into Manhattan at the end of morning rush hour (it was about 9 am). NYers, and NY-workers, are not known for their patience. I am one of these people, the type who gets mad when tourists don't cross the street on the No Walk sign even though there's no cars coming. But there I was, standing at the top of the stupid 1.5 person wide escalator (ok, maybe 2 wide, but only if you're the Olsen twins), in 3 inch heels (wide base, they weren't crazy to walk in!) carrying a bag. Shit.

One lady pushed by me. Another grunted something. I just closed my eyes and hoped not to die as I stepped onto NJTransit's escalator without having any idea if my entire foot was on a single stair. I made it, clearly.

But on the way home, I sure did find the stairs. On the outside change I get this job (I think I'm underqualified), I will either need to get over this, asap, or find every set of stairs in Secaucus and Penn Station...

mixed feelings

So we're seriously considering selling our house, since Princess Charming has a wonderful job 90 miles away (and has been doing a terrible commute - and crashing at my parents' sometimes - for well over a year). This wasn't really the intention when we bought it two years ago, but no one can control small businesses (not ours!) going under and in that case no one (logical anyway) can turn down a position with a great company that is a great fit when facing impending unemployment, even if it is rather far from home.

I am so stressed out about this.

There's a lot of reasons for this, but a big one in New Jersey. HOWWWWW do I keep going back? There's benefits, don't get my wrong. My family (well, my parents...I have a tiny family) is there, I have a couple of friends I'm still in touch with there....but it is Jersey: the land of the strip malls, incredibly high real estate taxes (and housing costs to match), fake nails, bleach blondes, and really wretched traffic on "highways" that resemble access roads in TX without the attached freeways. And there's this vague sense of failure at moving "home," even though this time it has nothing to do with me personally and really is a great career move for Princess Charming.

Also, I clearly need a new job to make this work (shhhhh.....I'm not discussing this in my current job yet), and given NJ's current state budget, this is a problem since I work in higher ed and don't really want to commute to NYC from the area we plan to live in (likely 45 min via bus or train, then some subway time, for at least an hour total without accounting for delays and walking...yuck...that's worse than what I do now), so I have no idea if the schools are going to start hiring (not a lot of private schools- i.e. schools with cash - in NJ). Postings have been slow so far, and I don't want to just take A job. I want THE job. OK, maybe not THE job, but something on the right path for my career and in an appropriate pay range for my experience and education.  Easier said than done, especially when thinking about keeping our commutes reasonable.

And lastly, I am really sad to leave here. Not for logical reasons. I don't have a bunch of close friends here. I'm not attached to SEPTA. I'm a little sad to leave our house which we've made a good little home, but not super sad (its a 1950s split for heaven's sake!). I am, however, pretty bummed to leave my rugby team here and my college kids that we coach. I am really dreading telling both of them, and sad about it to the point I'm really tempted (well, lets put the job hunt IFs aside for this) to just figure out how to stay through the fall competitive season. I was more reasonable about this before our tournament this past weekend, and am now totally bummed. I spilled the beans to a teammate on the plane, and her reaction was "but, if you get a new job, this is it! you'll be gone after the spring!" Yes, I know that. But hearing it is weirdly heartbreaking. And my two top college players came on the trip (and were rock stars) and I already feel like we're abandoning them and totally letting them down by moving and I have no idea who we can find to replace us for their fall season. I am sad on their behalf sort of, and don't want to put that kind of pressure on their captain. This, logic says, is nice of me but a completely irrational reason to put our lives on hold. We do get paid for coaching, but it's not much, and probably works out to something like $5/hr (I don't want to do the math on it).

Sigh.

I know this is a good thing and good for us family and career wise, and I know things could be worse in a multitude of different ways and that we have it pretty damn good, but I'm still kind of bummed out today.

I have a question

What do (chronically) unemployed people do all day?

On the one hand, having lots of time on my hands is nice. My apartment is pretty clean. I've started cooking again. I've opened books with titles other than "Declining by Degrees" and "Higher Education Finance" recently. I bought a couple of trashy magazines (eg. Glamour, such guilty pleasures). I've not only been sleeping more than 6 hours a night, but I've been sleeping well past 7 am!! And I think I'm finally going to wash my car and clean the rugby dirt out of my drivers seat today...

But on the other hand....daytime tv is is awful (not that nighttime tv is much better!). I find it really easy to spend hours doing nothing, and then wonder how its 7 pm and I haven't been to the gym yet. And while its been nice this last couple of weeks, I know I'm going to need more in my life soon....

And that's a real possibility!! A job I'm interested in checked my references...and I had another good interview....so...we'll see....with some luck, things will be more in line in the next couple of weeks!! YES. I hate having life "pending". Organization is so important to me.

Free

from comps!!! (At least for the next 4-6 weeks, until I find out if I passed, or just didn't fail and have to re-do a portion)

By 1:30 pm on Friday, I was drunk off $16 worth of Mad4Mex's best. Excellent. We do have the best cohort ever. Seriously. I need to make time to hang out with these folks more before we scatter back around the country. (On the downside, the end of comps signals its time to REALLY get moving looking for jobs!!)

brrrrrrr

It is incredibly cold.

Its currently 11 degrees here, with a windchill of 10 below. The high -- 19 degrees, with a wind chill of 3. Granted, I shouldn't be complaining. It was in the 50s until, oh, 3 week ago. And I could be in Madison or Ann Arbor, where the wind chill is another 10 degrees lower......and that's not going to happen.

So Mom, I think you'll be happy -- I've officially deleted the job/HR sites of Michigan and Wisconsin from my favorite places and will no longer be considering jobs in the upper-middle portion of the country, as appearently I am a huge pussy about the cold. (Also, side note, thank goodness for treadmills, or I wouldn't be getting any cardio exercise for quite some time, seeing as we're not forecast to break freezing until at least Friday).

Lets blame it on the 5 years I spent in Texas. Wind chills in the 40s don't even make the map!

(Also, side note #2: I just noticed the wind chill in central IL is 20 below. Moments like this I thank the heavens that I left my plant job -- I don't even want to think about spending the day working around the stills or --eek-- loadout (which was right on the river) in this kind of cold.)