Hello Deltoids??

We had indoor practice yesterday. Lets keep a few things in mind here:
a) I haven't been working out much. I've had such a lazy winter. 3 days of running and 2 days/week of moderate lifting would be reasonable for maintenance but I haven't even managed that. Elliptical and light weights (squatting the bar? was I really doing this in seriousness?) hasn't really cut it for maintaining or improving my fitness (see below posts about pants fitting problems).
b) I haven't handled a ball since...October?
c) Indoor practice is non-contact. And typically fun.

This morning I woke up with tied shoulders and back muscles. This concerns me a lot. I should not be sore from PASSING. I really HOPE this is just a "Hello, Emily. This is your muscles and little connective fibers saying Hi, and thanks for ignoring us for the past few months." and not real muscle fatigue. If so, I'm going to be having some much more significant soreness (particularly in my core) when practice starts next week and we revisit tackling and scrumming.

This doesn't excite me that much.

I think I'm retiring sometime this year. I think anyway. Maybe if I keep saying it I will?
(or, more likely, maybe if I cry on my way home from practice again I will)

going online

I added a weight loss ticker to my sidebar. This is a huge step in my life. I feel like I'm coming out of the closet. This sounds a little silly, even to me, seeing as I'm active a Weight Watchers message board and with a WW email group. But somehow the blog is more public (even though I doubt anyone I know in real life actually reads this)...

But I need to, for a few reasons:

1. I think about my weight a lot. I'm not THAT heavy, but I am more than a little concerns about the 13 lbs I gained in 2008...mostly because 90% of my maternal relatives are morbidly obese, and literally dying off because of it. And that scares me. A lot (as does the rampant cancer on that side). And my dad's family, which generally of healthy weight, is stacked with heart disease and strokes, so my odds aren't fabulous.
2. I want to talk about it. All the time. But I'm embarrassed - in part because I have such a hang-up, and in part because I don't feel like I'm "entitled" to it at my still-not-in-"women's"-stores size.
3. I've yo-yoed since I was 11 or 12 (up 20, down 10, up 30, down 45, up 70, down 25, up 15, down 10, up 13...). This needs to stop, for my health and that of my future children. I know a lot of my hang-ups and "issues" are remnants of my childhood, watching my mom stress about her weight and little comments about my chubby 11 yr old thighs...
4. I'm pretty sure I'm making Princess Charming crazy. C is the only person I talk about this to openly or often (if at all) and I talk about it a lot. Especially lately, since I've outgrown about half of my pants. And it is annoying. And self defeatist. And depressing. And while she's been a great sport, I know it is very aggravating. Bringing (at least some) of my blabber about this online should be good for my home life :)

So...after months/years of being a WW online member and following on and off, I am "publicly" committing to following. And getting back into my pants.

My mini-goal is to be at my pre-2008 weight by the MORE half marathon, April 25. 13 lbs in 11 weeks. Aggressive, but I'm going to try...
My goal is to by at goal by my 28th birthday in July. 22 lbs.

shopaholic

I am. Sort of. Not really. Maybe. It depends who you compare me to.
But I apparently have an Ann Taylor Loft problem. About 70% of my work clothes are from there. This is directly related to the fact there is a small ATL store 3 blocks from my office where I can pop in and check the sales.

I popped in today.
The woman on the floor asked if I got a haircut (yes).
I am a little embarrassed.

Nothing good on sale, but I did find a cute water-resistant trench I want to get if it ever goes on sale for $50 or less (sale + 40% off perhaps?). I actually want a raincoat, but I'd settle for water-resistant.